This just in: state of North Dakoa to draft an estimated 1200 women annually for its own private fleet of carrier pigeons. Authorities say enslaved women last hope to repopulate a state that no mother fucking sentient being would voluntarily migrate to. Population and tourism continues to decline as plague of Evangelical mutants threaten to infiltrate and dismantle civilized settlements.
Mutants reportedly a genetic throwback to a DNA strain descending from Job and his 2nd wife, a species once widely believed to have gone extinct around the time of the Enlightenment. While physiologically indistinguishable from homo sapiens through observation, internally mutants said to enjoy significantly smaller brains which are synaptically defective, making subjects prone to spasmodic episodes and aphasia. Scientific community unclear how the fuck this even happened, gridlocked over the ethical implications of retroactive abortion or other suggested expedients that will not weigh this country down like a 150 lb tumor.
you okay lilah?
Nobody gets my jokes, Jean. I think that means they’re not funny.