Besides being to blame for any suffering endured throughout all of human history, Britain is totally embarrassing because they’re totally obsessed with Beth Ditto like, still. To give you an idea of how uncool that is, I’m turning 25 next month and I was getting bored by, “Oh my God, you look just like that girl from the Gossip!” when I was still in high school.
Case in point, headline published March 28th, 2009:
Knee-slapping premise for an article, but it’s actually not bad.
For the record, I could not look any less like Beth Ditto. What people were responding to was that I probably “should” have been tenting myself in caftans, but I, like Beth Ditto one might imagine, am pretty over giving a shit if there’s a soft crease of thigh fat hanging out from my hot pants. I’ve noticed this sort of thing happening any time two or more girls who don’t loathe every cubic inch of their flesh are gathered in one place. Inevitably, “Are you guys sisters!?”
And I guess we are, in a way. , you are not invited into our sorority. I’m sure you’re super bummed.
Dear Karl: Please, for the love of God, stop carrying around the fan. Get rid of it already. No one likes it, seriously. I take that back; I think the Olsen twins might genuinely appreciate it, and think it’s eccentric or spectacular or something, but they are possibly starving themselves to death, undoubtedly to please you, and I think their judgment might be clouded. Honestly, everyone else thinks the fan is absurd. Please. Also, if you are going to be such a blood suckingly mean bitch try to be a little more coherent, just a touch. You don’t make any sense. It’s hard to take your fat hatred or your distaste for helping the poor or your mocking of Diane Von Furstenberg seriously when it comes out all crazy and rambling.
no way man. the fan rules. and more importantly, it rules to have a weird look and stick with it forever and never change.