At many times I feel like I cant just be myself because I feel that my real self is just an embarrassment to people and disrespectful. For instance when I am having a great time I usually will show it by being loud and wild. When we go bowling when I am doing really good. Getting strikes and spare. I like to put my hands in the air. Do a silly dance and shout things like oh yeah I get a strike. I really don’t know what I say but I just get exited and I end up saying it loud where other people can here me. When my fiancé kind of gets annoyed by it and tells me to quiet down it just frustrates me and kind of ruins the fun for me. I guess we just have different ways of having fun. I just think I am an embarrassment and I feel like im not fun to be around. I don’t feel like I am funny but don’t think other people think I am funny. I want people to think I am funny and fun to be around. I want people not to be board around me. I want to have great interesting conversations with people mostly I want to have all of this with my fiancé.
– from here
