Apologies for my slowness in the last few days, what with the crumbling economy, freelancing has suddenly become an unreliable and unsustainable source of GREEN.
There is this dig McCain took at Obama during last week’s debate that has been pestering me, especially in light of amplified attacks which use “socialist” as a pejorative. To conclude his vague, deliberately distorted criticisms of Obama’s health care package, McCain said,
“If you like Obama’s health care plan, you’ll love Canada or England“
I would imagine that the only way to deride Obama as a “socialist” (oh no, stop, not that) while still keeping a straight face is to start with his plan for government-run health care, then gesticulate wildly, and then keep cawing, “SLIPPERY SLOPE! SLIPPERY SLOPE!” like some sonofabitch neocon parrot with its tailfeathers all a’ruffle.
Of course, this line makes sense, since the crumbling edifice of this mythical “laissez faire” American economy is chipping away to reveal something that looks more like a plutocracy (I paid for my prescriptions in dimes last week!), everyone is freaking the fuck out, and it’s the neocon tradition to sling your own most unflattering qualities against your opponent like they’re ruinous disasters kicking off the end times. McCain “suspended his campaign” in order to more vigorously nod in impotent silence from the corner of a room as the GOP effectively nationalized the banking system so tons of middle aged white dudes wouldn’t be launching from their executive balconies, landing in these really tiresome, unsightly puddles of gore that would totally devastate the NY tourism industry and necessarily had to be avoided at all costs. But yeah, totally, Obama’s the red herring around here because every day is opposite day on Capital Hill!
I think I’ve been haunted by the prospect of an Obama presidency dragging this country down into the uncharted circles of hell that are the province of sinister nations like Canada or England. McCain’s ghastly premonition really hits home; what chilling darkness are we allowing ourselves to be ushered into?! When you think about it, he’s right. England and Canada? It’s basically like the Khmer Rouge over there.
Tread lightly, guys, because if before you know it, you might be trying to finding your footing atop a giant mountain of human skulls.
hey, you left some stuff in worcester
footnote, from the “Yes, My Mom Was An English Teacher” zone:
Okay, so in the quote above, McCain pulls out the classic advertising catch-phrase / formula: “if you like —, you’ll love —!”.
However, I don’t think he means it in the original positive-association version (“if you like breakfast cereal brand, you’ll love savory snack mix made with aforementioned breakfast cereal brand!”), and it doesn’t really work as the ironic subversion (“if you like RISD, you’ll love Brooklyn”).
Maybe he was trying to go for the ironic twist, but to do it right, he should have reversed the two variables: “if you like Canada, you’ll love Obama’s health care plan”… That would have done a better job associating Obama with the horrors of those liberal, welfare-loving, skull-mountain-building socialists up north.
As spoken, it reverts to the positive version, and comes across as a plug for Canada (or England): “If you think Obama’s health care plan is going to be great, you should really just up and move to a country that has already implemented something like it, but better than we probably will, and succeeds with it, in addition to having less gun violence, better integrated, more diverse cities, and….” etc.
(history or origins of that catchphrase? first ironic usage? I have no idea. anybody?)
you should end more posts
atop a giant mountain of human skulls.
When I read your blog I hear your voice