I was writing about this whole other thing, but then this sort of stunned me off track:
Overweight and obese women than skinny types, a new study suggests.
Oh. Ok. Then this:
The results seem to contradict stereotypes that overweight and obese women have less sex. If anything, the researchers said, the opposite seems to be true.
It’s true. Contrary to popular belief, most dudes who want to sleep with women don’t really care about your back fat as long as they can motorboat big titties for like ten hours at a time. Acceptable substitutes: super jiggly ass, plush belly, hairy armpits, weird freckle patterns, awesome scars, pillowy parts, taut parts, bony parts. People actually just like having sex with each other. This is something every virgin needs to know.
Also, the most awesome wisdom I ever received was from my friend’s mother back in high school. My friend was worrying about how her breasts would look once she took off her bra in front of her boyfriend. Her mom looked over at her with a sour face, grabbed her own teeny tit with the hand that wasn’t holding a cigarette, and said “They all look the same when you’re lying on your back.” This can be applied unilaterally throughout one’s life. You’re welcome.
More:
The survey relied on self-reports, however, and other studies have found that people often lie in sex surveys. A different study in 2006 concluded that obesity, as well as smoking, does curb sex.
Yes, I’m starting to see what you’re saying here. We are fat liars, aren’t we. Finally:
“These results were unexpected and we don’t really know why this is the case,” Kaneshiro said.
The problem with nerds is that they start to like geeky shit like robots so much they turn into them. The human psyche is not run on Python, you clambags.
All over the country, at this very moment, there are little boys and girls tugging at the hem of some elder’s garment and saying, “When I grow up I want to be a scientist who performs illogical studies to make women feel bad about themselves!”
