We Can’t All Be Born Cool, I Guess

Instead of doing work I get paid for I asked myself, “Self, what website have you been consistently reading the longest?” The answer to this does not pay in cash but in pearls. Pearls of cringe-y 17-year-old Lilah wisdom.

Why, it’s 75 or Less! Which I only realized was based in Providence like two months ago, and have remained to be the only music reviews I can both stomach and trust since 2001. Alternate favorite internet coincidence: I read KDrisc’s blog regularly when I was in high school, and did not realize until years later and an entirely different state that I somehow ended up his buddy.

Embarrassing selections from comments I’ve made:

→ OK GO – OK GO, Posted by lilah on September 23, 2002 “I haven’t heard it yet, but i LOVED their EPs. I saw them at a This American Life reading, which makes it ALL THAT MUCH BETTER. Where the hell can I find this cd.”

Nick made me tell this story to Andy when we first met, and I’ll tell you something, it’s a lil’ awkward to tell a dude hey, I liked your band before you were in it. But what do I know about awkward next to a pair of Worcester boys. (It’s normal to feel retroactively suicidal for having been so excited over attending a TAL reading, right?)

→ Pedro the Lion – Control, Posted by lilah on July 14, 2002 “Man, I’ll have to agree, there. Well, at least about TW Walsh and Damien Jurado. God was that a great show.”

I have not listened to nor even remembered seing any of the above other than TW Walsh since I posted that, whom I still throw on now and again because the man made some fine records. Hey, did you know he worked on that catchy lil’ SSLYBY record?

→ Hot Hot Heat – Make Up The Breakdown, Posted by lilah on November 04, 2002 “singer and bassist = pricks, for future fucking reference.”

I’m probably still not allowed to tell the story that accompanies this one.

→ Spoon – Kill The Moonlight, Posted by lilah on August 29, 2002 “How dare you! This album is amazing, you tasteless jerks.”

I’d like to retract this statement.

→ Northern State – Dying In Stereo, Posted by lilah on August 20, 2003 “no. no, worst album…ever.”

I still back this 100%.

→ Of Montreal – Aldhills Arboretum, Posted by lilah on September 05, 2002 “of montreal annoys the fuck out of me. i borrowed the cd from a boy a while ago, and never gave it back because i ruined the cover, so now it just sits in with my GOOD records and makes me look/feel/taste bad.”

Always had a mouth as pretty as a sailor. Hey guys, remember that time we had to sit uncomfortably perched on their hotel bedspread while C-lo’s friend with the wicked bad crazy eye took a bath with that glittery dude? Thank god Holmes has got a mouth like an outboard motor. Remember how pissed I got when she told us they didn’t even fuck? BITCH DON’T WASTE MY TIME.

→ VPN – For Nearby Stars, Posted by lilah on January 21, 2002 “Ah, you make it so easy to retain my ‘indie rock cred’. I don’t have to do a thing.”

Really? I said that? That’s rough, teenage me. Even for you.